We should all measure success by how well our children are doing because nothing is more important than the health and happiness of the kids.
They are our family and our future.
Good for Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner for reportedly calling off their divorce and keeping their family together.
After reports of infidelity — who can forget “Nannygate” — it’s inspiring to see a Hollywood couple who could easily fall into narcissistic self-absorption put their children first.
For married couples enjoying a healthy relationship, it’s much easier and less complicated to share the highs and lows of parenting together, versus shuffling kids back and forth between two homes post-divorce.
Not an easy scenario for all parties involved, especially if parents become estranged. Isn’t raising kids today the old-fashioned way with two cars parked in the garage challenging enough?
Why make life more complicated knowing that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side?
Growing up in New Jersey, I was lucky to see my parents love each other and stay happily married throughout my life. In the 1960s, my father was sitting in a bar in Greenwich Village with one of his buddies when my mother walked in. My dad had an emotional reaction and said to his friend, “That’s the woman I’m going to marry.”
It was love at first sight.
My parents got married shortly thereafter at a church in Brooklyn and were best friends for 42 years until my dad passed away in 2006 from heart disease. Not everyone is lucky enough to find their soulmate, but once we make the decision to have kids, it’s important to put their happiness and well being before our careers, hobbies, interests and selves.
That said, with the divorce rate being so high, it’s clear not all couples can make it work despite the best intentions. Relationships change and people change. Who you are in your 20s when you get married is not the same person you’ll be at 30, 40, 50 and beyond. Some couples can evolve together. Others can’t.
But once couples have kids, we owe it to them to do whatever is in their best interest.
Kudos to Ben and Jen for steadying the ship. Because like Jackie Kennedy famously said, “If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do matters very much.”